i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
