Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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