roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
