I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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