So drunk its hurt
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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