I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Randomize
