I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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