we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
