He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
