? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
