i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize