It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
