i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
