I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im six kinds of drunk right now
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
