then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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