I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
