If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
