I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
