Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I wish you could order shots online.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
