ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
