i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
