So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I have already put on my inside pants.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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