Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
