idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
