adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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