i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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