yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
