is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
