she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
smell my finger.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
