i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
