how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
