People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
