saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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