I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
