Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think my moral compass just broke
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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