sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
