walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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