it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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