All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
