i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
