if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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