Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
