PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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