At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
