There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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