I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
