went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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