hotel room ftw
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Randomize
