STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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