it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
