You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
