Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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