Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
