Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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