OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
