But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
