did you get engaged???
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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