Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
