Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
