Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
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We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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