no. you can't hotbox the world.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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