I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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