so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
