apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
