shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
