This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
