in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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